She Is Beautiful
by TraceAce
Summary: Pre-Alliance. Benoit likes Lilian, but doesn't know how to go about it. When he decides to take other people's advice, is he just setting himself up for a colossal mistake?
1. Chapter One

**She is Beautiful**

By

_TraceAce_

**A/N:** Okay, this is a new story. If you can't figure that out by now. Benoit/Lilian pairing, not very serious at all. ^^; But serious enough. It's gonna be…odd. Just work with me here.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone in this fic. WWE owns their asses. Well, not just their asses. They ain't models, you know. I also don't own the song this story is named after. Because Andrew W. K. sings it, with much energy mind you. And I don't own Andrew, because I have 10 cents to my name and he's at least worth a dollar minimum…

_"I never knew girls existed like you   
But now that I do   
I'd really like to get to know you"_

_- **"She Is Beautiful" ~ Andrew W. K.**_

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**Chapter 1**

~~~

          He noticed the little things about her personality. The innocent smile she gave, even when the person was being a jackass, the ease she had prodding information out of even the most stubborn of people, the calm attitude she always managed to stay in. She was really beautiful, in and out, from her blonde locks to her petite frame. Her voice and her mind. He hated feeling like that, though. He didn't know why he noticed it, and when he started acting like a perpetual stalker.

          It wasn't as if she ever would look his way. Comparatively, he was actually one of the meaner ones towards her. Not that he actually meant to be. He said things when he didn't want to say the other things. He called it a defensive instinct. The 'instinct' made him seem like he was going to kill her in her sleep one day if she happened to say something that he could snap at. He didn't really ever WANT to mean any harm to her, it just always came OUT that way. With that information embedded into his knowledge, he had been telling himself for weeks to just give it up. He wasn't ever going to be able to even try to win her over, considering the minute he tried before he ended up with the result of her looking as though she wanted to run as far away as possible in fear.

          "Damnit." He lowered his head, running a hand through his scruffy brown hair. He willed himself to shut off the tape, because he found it to be completely depressing. But he didn't, instead rewinding it to stare at his screen some more, like a lovesick idiot. Inwardly he berated himself, because he was being semi-obsessive and that just annoyed him to no end. HE was supposed to be a hard-edged SOB who enjoyed destroying people. What would people think if he suddenly started acting all gentlemanly toward this girl that he was never nice to before. Ever. He would be going…_soft_. An involuntary shudder ran up his spine at the single thought.

          "Hmph. I should have figured I'd find you here."

          He leaned over to the VCR with a complete attempt of being inconspicuous, which hadn't worked very well. The TV turned from the VCR footage to snowy static, and he refused to look upon the one that had snuck up on him in fear that he had turned completely red in embarrassment.

          "And what was that?" the voice continued. He saw his hand reaching to turn the VCR on, and instantly he tried to deter him from doing so.

          "No, no, JERICHO!" He shouted, sounding almost panicked. He finally faced him and saw the wiry smile on his best friend's face as he continued to attempt to get to the 'play' button. "CHRIS, don't make me kick your ass!"

          He stopped a moment, grinning mischievously toward him. "Aw, Benoit, those threats don't become you buddy."

          Off guard for that moment, Jericho managed to snake his hand under Benoit's to that button. Instantly the static disappeared and on popped the video, and Benoit really felt his cheeks flare red. Jericho cocked his head, watching the video intently before bursting out laughing. Benoit pushed the taller Canadian aside and shut the tape off as quickly as he could. It was an empty gesture, since Jericho had seen enough of the tape to know what he was watching, and how it would give him enough things to tease about for months. 

          "Damnit Chris, you're such an ass." Benoit snapped.

          "Well if I'm an ass, you're a tomato, 'coz you're certainly red enough." Jericho spoke innocently. Benoit clenched his fists in attempts to calm his anger AND to return to his usual coloring. Contemplation of beating the crap of his friend ran though his mind, but he knew it wouldn't do much of a difference. Instead he took a deep breath and looked away.

          "You had no right doing that, Jericho. I swear to god, you're such an annoyance!"

          "Maybe so, but…my my, Christopher. Do I sense amorous feelings toward a certain blonde announcer coming from you?" he questioned innocently, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His face held one of his oh-so-famous knowing smirks and he knew that he was caught, even if he did decide to act like he wasn't caught watching a tape over and over again.

          It didn't stop him from trying. "You don't know what you're talking about, Jericho."

          "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you were looking at the one she was interviewing then?" he asked sarcastically.

          "Just shut up." He huffed, grabbing the tape from the VCR after he ejected it. "It's none of your business."

          Not taking the hint or the cold shoulder, he continued to pester. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But seriously, Benoit. You like her? Come on, you can tell me."

          "You don't know how to bug off do you?" Benoit asked, his voice dripping with contempt.

          "Not at all." Jericho grinned. "So, you have a crush on Lilian? It's not that bad."

          "I DON'T HAVE…" he instantly stopped, knowing he was practically yelling. In attempts to keep from anyone else knowing, he lowered his voice and continued, "I don't have a crush on her. I barely even know her. Hell, I haven't even spoken to her unless she's asking me some annoying bullshit question."

          "…You DO like her! Ha." Jericho smiled proudly. "I've known you for a very long time, and I know when you're lying. It's written all over your face."

          "I don't remember asking for your opinion."

          "I don't remember you ever asking for my opinion, Benoit. I'm not gonna wait forever you know." Jericho explained. "And my opinion is that you should go for it."

          "There's nothing to go FOR, Chris."

          "That's what you said the last time I saw you watching that tape." He reminded helpfully. "And you said 'I'm not watching her, I'm watching…'."

          He stopped in mid-sentence when they both heard the rap on the door. Benoit threw a dirty glare at Jericho before walking to the doorway. And, of course, since fate never seemed to be nice to him…there stood Lilian Garcia, and in a complete instant he went literally mute, already feeling the usual butterflies in his stomach fluttering up.

          "I'm sorry to bother you two." She spoke a bit timidly, looking in. Benoit looked toward Chris who beamed and smile toward Lilian.

          "Hey Vivian." He greeted in his usual cheeky manner. Benoit tried not to imagine strangling him and his damn smart ass attitude. He walked over to the door to stand next to his tag team partner.

          "I was wondering if I could ask you two a few questions on your win last Monday night on RAW." She explained.

          "Sure, we'd love to. Right, Benoit?" he inquired. Benoit shook himself out of his daze, shooting Jericho another more secretive glare before nodding.

          "…Whatever." He muttered, trying not to bring attention to himself.

          "Alright then. People are really wondering now…how can you two, after all the things you've been through, still manage to be able to work as a team?"

          "Benoit here and I have found enough common enemies to bury the hatchet." Jericho explained. "Before we became tag partners, we were always on the same page but in different books. Now we have enough similar goals to work together."

          "We're still completely different though." Benoit spoke up, giving him a glance. "And Chris talks too much."

          "Benoit's still dull." Jericho shot back.

          "DULL!" he huffed.

          "Yep." Jericho smiled.

          "Well at least I'm not a…"

          "Ah, okay, that's enough of the interview." Lilian interrupted, stopping the fight. 

          "Wait wait, Vivian…"

          "No, don't worry about it. Thanks you two."

          They watched her quickly leave, and when she was out of earshot the fight continued. "Damnit Benoit, look what you did!"

          "Well it was your own fault for pissing me off earlier."

          "I was just speaking the truth!" he exclaimed. Benoit shut the door with force.

          "I don't like her, alright? Just drop it."

          "Why don't you say that when you stop blushing every time you see the girl!" Jericho argued. "What's so bad about liking her?"

          "Get out, Chris." Benoit pointed toward the door.

          "You're kicking me out?"

          "Now."

          Jericho, looking slightly scorned, made a pouty look but did retreat from the room. When the door closed, Benoit sighed loudly.

          "Stupid blonde idiot, I really need to become anti-social again." Benoit muttered. He looked at the tape in his hands. He went to toss it across the room but he found himself unable to and instead laid it gently on the TV. When he heard the knock on his door again he instantly got pissed once again, really not feeling like dealing with Jericho at all anymore.

          "What the fuck do you want!?" he questioned the minute he opened the door. He was startled to find it wasn't Jericho there but Lita, who looked as though she was ready to get her ass kicked by him as she flinched. "Oh, Jesus, Lita, I'm sorry, I thought…"

          "Jericho, I know." She said, uncoiling. "He sent me to tell you that he's sorry or something."

          "REALLY sorry!" Benoit heard from down the hall.

          "He's REAL…wait a second, what the hell am I doing? You guys are acting like kids and I'm condoning it!" she realized, "Chris, get over here and talk to him yourself."

          "Excuse me, Lita." He pushed past her to see Jericho walking over from down the hall, looking exactly like a scolded child.

          "We have a match later, you're not allowed to be pissed at me." Jericho stated.

          "Well if you weren't such a dumbass, I wouldn't get mad."

          "I was just stating the obvious!"

          "BOYS!" Lita got between them, putting them both at arm length. "Stop this bickering this instant!"

          "He started it." Benoit huffed.

          "I don't care. Now, tell me, what the hell is this all about?" Lita asked calmly.

          "Benoit likes Lilian!"

          "…You do?"

          "NO!"

          "Oh. Then you don't."

          "You're gonna believe Mr. No Feelings here?! He just doesn't want to admit it!"

          "Oh YOU should talk!"

          "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!" Lita silenced them again. "Listen, as far as I know…Jericho, if Benoit doesn't like her or doesn't want to say he likes her, that it's none of your damn business. Benoit, stop calling Jericho names. Okay?" She looked at the two. "Alright?"

          "…Fine." They answered together. Lita shook her head, smirking.

          "Now, you two make nice. I don't want to hear any more yelling. Gives me a damn headache. Apologize, both of you."

          "But…"

          "NOW."

          The two much larger males both scowled toward her, but since apparently she somehow scared the shit out of both of them, they didn't dare go against her wishes.

          "Yeah, I'm sorry." Benoit muttered. "Even though you're a…"

          "BENOIT!"

          "I'm sorry too." Jericho grumbled. "But you DO like…!"

          "…I give up. You two are hopeless." She flailed her hands in annoyance.

          "You know Benoit, you can deny it all you want, and just hide away like you always do in your hermit shell, but I can't help but actually want to see you be happy for once in your life." Jericho explained, a little pissed. Benoit went silent at the outburst. "Because I know if I don't, you're never gonna be able to act on it."

          "I think I'm going to go now…"

          "I'm fine the way I am! I can tell someone I find them attractive! Like Lita, you're hot! See!"

          Lita turned a crimson red.

          "But Lita doesn't count!"

          "HEY!"

          "No no, he doesn't –like- you like that though. I didn't mean it in the offensive way."

          "How do you know I don't like her like that?!"

          "Wait wait, you like me?" Lita asked, confused.

          "…No. But I COULD!"

          "Okay, before I get any more into this domestic squabble, I'm going to go and deal with the sadly more normal brothers Hardy." Lita shook her head, stomping off. They both watched her go, then turned their attention back on each other.

          "What do you want from me, Chris?" Benoit asked, sounding exasperated.

          "Because if you do, I can help you." Jericho explained, sounding as though he was calming down. "That's all. I'm not going to go telling the nation."

          Benoit went silent again, looking all the way over toward the tape he had placed down. He started thinking about how he been feeling for all the time that had past. "…I'll listen to what you have to say. That's all I'll promise."    

          Jericho visibly brightened.

          "In that case, let me tell you just how you get a girl…"


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: **And so it continues…thanks for all your reviews guys. ^^****

~~

          Benoit sat, watching Jericho speaking on the phone to someone. He couldn't believe he was letting him do this. He couldn't believe he was even contemplating it. She didn't like him, in that way or in any other way sans liking to hate him. Jericho, however, was the ever optimistic, and was so adamant, so completely devoted to this idea of getting them together for some unknown reason. Benoit couldn't even guess why, so he just figured that Chris just had absolutely no life. Beforehand, he would have even mentioned the fact that Jericho himself had a small crush on the same fiery female that helped break up their battle, but he was feeling nice then and decided not to bring it up, especially in front of her. That's all she needed, knowing her best friend besides the younger rainbow haired Hardy liked her while in fact her relationship with the older one was beginning to suck. It would have ended up being a breaking point, no doubt.

          Jericho hung up with whoever he was speaking to, turning to his tag team partner with a big wolfish smile, which only meant one thing; He was up to something. Benoit stared at him, almost suspiciously.

          "Who was that?" he inquired. Jericho just flashed another smile.

          "Your ticket to Lilian. I did a little research, with the help of Lita. She snooped around and found out just what flower Lilian likes. Now, think of it, she opens her locker room door to find a beautiful bouquet of daises!"

          "You got her flowers?"

          "No, you got her flowers." Jericho smirked proudly. "I even told the lady to write an ultra sappy note."

          "Are you crazy?! Aren't we moving a little too fast considering she doesn't even know me?" Benoit automatically seemed tense.

          "That is so a eighties way of thinking, Roboto." He rolled his eyes, purposely using his age-old nickname. Benoit looked uneasy. "Come on, Benoit, its not that bad. Just nice flowers. It's not too much." Jericho promised. 

          "And this woos a female?"

          "That and chocolates. But chocolates are kind of iffy because they eat it and suddenly they think they're fat or something."

          "She'd do that?"

          "Lilian? Probably not. She seems to be a lot like Lita. And as you know…"

          "She can eat as much as you." Benoit finished.

          "Exactly."

          Benoit took to walking back and forth in a worried daze, even if in fact these flowers would not reach her until tomorrow. Jericho just watched for a while, until he started feeling dizzy just watching him. He got up, standing in his path, but Benoit at that point hadn't noticed and smacked right into him. He backed away, rubbing his forehead.

          "What was that for?" Benoit asked, looking at Jericho who rolled his eyes.

          "You're wearing a hole in the cheap and stained hotel rug. Chill out." Jericho sighed loudly. "At least start worrying tomorrow, since that's when it'll be coming in."

          "I don't know if this is a good idea, Chris…"

          "Trust me! When have I ever gotten you in trouble?"

          "There isn't enough time in this day to give that list." Benoit pointed out.

          "…Okay, so I've gotten you in trouble a little." He admitted. "But look, you still have all your arms and legs."

          "Comforting." Benoit replied sarcastically.

          "As if should be. Now, I don't want to see you worrying about it until tomorrow. Later tomorrow. Far from this time. Got me?"

          "Fine." He agreed.

          It didn't mean he wouldn't inwardly worry, of course. And he did. From the moment he found out through the whole day. Now, of course, it was kind of hard to hide that sort of worrying, but he managed with the exception of once where he dazed out into thinking and Jericho had to smack him over the head to snap him out of it. Benoit was uncomfortable with the entire idea. And he had a feeling it was going to spread – this information – because Jericho, of all the good-natured thinking he might have, still had the biggest mouth when it came to the stuff. He didn't mean to spread any gossip, but he did, in large quantities.

          So why had he trusted him? Lack of judgment of the moment, he had guessed. That and he knew if he didn't agree, he'd end up regretting that too since Jericho would never have stopped bothering him. How he had been the one that got the best friend title, Benoit could never guess. He just didn't have a clue. But it was like that, and Jericho was making him do something about his small crush, and he couldn't do a thing about it. Maybe when the flower thing didn't work like Benoit figured, he would drop it.

          And the next night came, and Jericho had run off to do some errand with Lita since Matt and Jeff were too busy doing other things. God forbid at least Jericho would wait with him since he was the one who got him into all this. But he didn't, and so he just sort of reclined on his own bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't know what he was really expecting – besides the obvious being nothing at all. It was highly doubtful she would just look at the flowers and do nothing about it, but he still hoped he wouldn't have to see her ever again. If he thought speaking to her before was bad, he definitely knew he was in trouble now that all had happened happened.

          He sat up when a knock sounded. Probably Chris again, he always forgot his key. Rolling over, he stood up and stretched a little, then walked over to the door. However, the sight he was greeted by was not of Chris but of Lilian herself, and boy did she not look happy. A glare graced her usual calm demeanor, and her face – well, that was graced with blemishes that dotted her face like a demented connect the dot game. Instantly realizing what had to happen, he barely had time to curse Jericho in his mind before she spoke, in a very angry tone.

          'You think you're funny Chris Benoit?" she accused, putting the flowers at an arm's length. "Sending me these flowers! I don't know how you figured out I'm allergic to these, but you are one cruel jerk!"

          She actually pushed him back a little so that they were more in the room.

          "Lilian, I can…"

          "Don't speak. I don't know who you think you are, but I don't deserve to be treated like this! I might be smaller then you, but I can STILL do this."

          And she smashed the pot upside down onto his head, the water AND the flowers fluttering all around him. He sputtered, mouth a bit agape.

          "THAT'S what I think of you, Chris Benoit! I don't care how scary you are, you better not try a stunt like that again!"

          She stomped out, Benoit just watching her, stunned. He suddenly realized that the pot hadn't fallen down or broke, and touching his head he realized it was still there. He pulled at it, thinking he would go after her once he got it off his head. No go. He tried again, and it again didn't slip off.

          "Oh this is just great." He groaned. He pulled again and it still didn't come off. The moisture had made a suction-like grip on his head. It figured the plastic vase had to have a wide mouth. He kept pulling until his scalp started to burn from the friction he was making. Then he sat and decided to give up and live his fate as the guy with a vase stuck on his head. Or at least until it fell off or Jericho had a better idea.

          There went any chances he EVER had, also. Out the window. Way out the window.

          When Jericho came in, he had the added bonus of Lita seeing him with a pot stuck to his head, and they both sort of stared at him oddly.

          "What? Haven't you ever seen a guy with a pot stuck to his head?" he grumbled unhappily.

          "Benoit, what happened? Why – OH." Lita seemed to frown the minute she realized.

          Jericho, however, still didn't get it. "What? What oh?" 

          "Lilian." Lita explained simply.

          "Lilian? But…why?"

          "Christopher, I have a question for you."

          "Alrighty." He nodded, closing the door behind him. "Shoot."

          "Actually, no, I'll ask Lita. When he asked you about the flowers, how did he ask?"

          "He asked me which ones was she allergic to." Lita confirmed.

          "…I did?" Jericho asked, scratching his head. "Uh…oops."

          "Then I'm guessing she's highly allergic to daisies, isn't she?"

          "You dumbass!" she yelled at Chris the minute he got the hint. She smacked him over the head. He yelped.

          "Ow!"

          "That answers my question, then…a little help here?" he leaned down, motioning to the vase.

          Lita walked up to him, tugging at it. It obviously still didn't slip off.

          "No go."

          "You just need to put some muscle in it. Here." Jericho basically shoved Lita out of the way and pulled extremely hard. Benoit cried out as he felt as though Chris was pulling his skin off his body.

          "STOP! STOP! OW!" He was unceremoniously dropped instantly, landing on his stomach.

          "Chris, what the hell are you trying to do, kill him?" Lita huffed. "Did you try breaking it?"

          Benoit got up, holding his sore head. "Yeah. It's like titanium plastic. Won't break for shit."

          "I know! I can ram your head into a wall and…"

          "Shut up Jericho." Lita snapped. She seemed to think. "Well, I remember when Jeff got his hand stuck in a pipe, putting warm water on it managed to get him free. We can try that."

          "As long as it doesn't have me bashing my head into various objects, I'm fine." He said, shooting a look toward Jericho who whistled innocently.

          "Come on. I'll help you." Lita motioned for him to go into the bathroom, and he started walking toward it. Jericho went to follow but Lita instantly stopped him.

          "You did enough for a night. Clean up the flowers, alright?"

          Chris made a pouty face, but didn't speak against it as he instantly started to clean up. Lita followed suit into the bathroom to see Benoit had gotten at least the picture and turned the hot water shower on.

          "All ready to have this thing extracted." He spoke, trying to make light of the situation that he felt extremely depressed over.

          "Okay, bend into the water and I'll try to push it off. The water should make the vase expand." She explained, trying to sound like she really thought it would work.

          Benoit sighed loudly, cannot believing this was happening to him, but decided to just go along with it in hopes of getting freed. He kneeled down and then leaned into the water, instantly feeling the hot liquid pouring onto him and his new vase hat. He felt Lita pushing on it hard, and he winced with every pain that shot up into his brain. It felt like she was trying to rip his hair off.

          "I'm going to try to use some shampoo or something." She explained to him, grabbing the nearby bottle. She seemed to carefully blot it around the edges of the vase and started to push again.

          "I don't need a hair treatment here, Lita." He called, starting to get really annoyed at the pain.

          "I think I almost have it." She told him. As if trying to make him feel better, she tried to joke. "You know, this reminds me of a Winnie The Pooh story I used to read my little cousin…"

          "Lita, if you're comparing to me to a stuffed child's bear, I'm going to have to kill you." He warned.

          "…Never mind then. Just trying to lighten this up. Oh! Wait…" she pushed again, noting it was moving. "I'm gonna push really hard, and I think it'll slip off. Ready?"

          "Not—" he was cut off when she shoved her hands right against the vase, and Benoit elicited another yelp of pain. It did come off though, and Lita's momentum caused her to actually fall into the now half-full bathtub. Benoit almost flipped into it as well but he managed to catch himself and only end up with a mouthful of splashed water. Chris ran in, looking at the scene of Lita lying dazed in the water, the shower still spraying on both of them. But the vase…it was floating peacefully next to her.

          "You guys are soaked." Jericho offered.

          They both glared at him at the same time. Benoit, though his scalp was now throbbing, managed to shut off the shower. He flopped backwards, holding his head. Lita managed to wrench herself out of the tub and landed squarely next to him, coughing up a little of the bath water she had swallowed. Jericho, finally doing something right, grabbed towels for them. He handed it to both of them and grabbed the vase from the water.

          "…I'm not thinking you want to keep this." Jericho guessed.

          "Toss it out before I use it on you." Benoit said. Jericho seemed convinced it wouldn't be wise to talk anymore and left to throw it away.

          "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Matt and Jeff." Lita finally spoke, lifting up her sopping wet arm, looking at her sleeve dangling down as far as it could go, heavy with water.

          "Say you had an impromptu swim in our local bath tub. It's not a lie."

          "You alright now? Let me see your head." She went onto her knees, peeking at his drenched hair. Besides the fact that it was bleeding a little in one area, it seemed alright. Still, she continued to inspect to see if it was swelling yet.

          "This was a disaster." He sighed. "You know, the next time I listen to that idiot, hit me with something. Preferably something that can't stick on me."

          "Jericho had the right idea, Chris." She said. "You shouldn't be deterred because of this little incident."

          "I had a vase stuck to my head. How is that a little incident?"

          "…Point taken. But I don't think you should give up." She commented idly. "I'll explain to her that you didn't mean anything by it. A gesture of apology. And then…I know! I got a great idea for you to make it up to her."

          "Get her some ointment for her massive amount of hives?"

          Lita winced at the thought, but shook her head firmly. "Don't worry. I have an idea. I won't take no for an answer. Just give me a night to figure it out."

          "Wait, Lita, no…"

          "Bye Chris!" she said, not listening to his pleas as she stood up. She left quickly, not letting him speak at all. Benoit groaned, standing, touching his head again.

          He just knew he was going to continue to regret letting his so-called friends help him. The swelling on his head would be a constant reminder.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3**

**A/N:** It's been a while, yes. Here we go. –waves to all- Byeee!

                He was awaken from a deep sleep by knocking on the door. At first he thought it was apart of a dream of some sort, and kept lying there, willing himself back to sleep. He buried his head into his pillow, pulling the covers over his head. Suddenly the door was knocked on again, and he opened one of his eyes, groaning.

                "Get that Chris." He mumbled, closing his one open eye. In reply, Jericho snored loudly. He wasn't getting up any time soon. He sighed, rolling over. He miscalculated his position on the bed because he ended up rolling off. He landed on the hard ground, the covers falling right on him. He found himself tangled, and fought to pull himself out. Stumbling up, he walked toward the door, barely awake. He got there just as it was knocked on again. Yawning, eyes half open, he opened the door, almost falling forward considering he was leaning on the door for support.

                "Mmyeah?" he asked, wiping his eyes.

                "You're picking up Chris's bad habits." A voice mused. He looked up to find himself staring at Lita, who looked dressed and ready to go out.

                "Lita? What are you doing here?"

                He rubbed his messed up hair almost unconsciously, and winced instantly. He remembered then, what had happened last night. He rubbed it gingerly then, Lita watching with an amused look. "You okay?"

                "Head hurts like a bitch." He sighed with resignation. "…Whatever. What are you doing here so early. It's only…"

                "Eleven." She stated matter-of-factly. She managed a glimpse at his head and winced. A fine swelling ring had formed. He noted the looked and instantly his face fell even more.

                "…That bad, huh?"

                "Well, if you want to get corny and use witty pick up lines, you can say it's a burn from wearing your halo or something…?" she offered, biting her lip. He scowled. "…Then again, I don't think pick up lines would work well with you."

                He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Probably think I'm trying to piss her off again and get hit in the head with a plate or something."

                "At least that won't stick to your head…"

                Benoit sighed, crossing his arms over his bare chest, not really caring about his state of undress. Usually he would be, but considering his foul mood and his mind on other more pressing matters, it barely even occurred to him to be embarrassed. He looked at Lita who kept staring at him in an expecting matter, to the point where he raised a brow toward her. "…Yes?"

                "Well, aren't we going?" He just stared at her, perplexed. "…To win over Lilian? Remember?"

                "Yes, I do. I remember trying that. See, I have a great reminder. Want to see the swelling? It's how she showed how much she appreciated my attempt." His voice was dripping with heavy sarcasm, enough to make her wince. 

                "Okay, I get the point. But Benoit, see, that was CHRIS'S advice. Jericho wouldn't know how to woo a girl, much less impress one."

                "On the contrary, Red…" Benoit looked behind him to see Jericho had woken up and decided to join the conversation. He walked over, leaning against the wall with a smirk. "I seem to remember almost getting you with the flowers I got you once."

                "A kiss on the cheek for a nice gift does NOT mean I was…"

                Both men stared at her, and Benoit actually even cracked a smile. She raised a brow at both of them.

                "WHAT?"

                "You're blushing." Benoit said in his usual serious voice, which made it all the more humorous. She scowled a bit, crossing her arms over her chest.

                "And ANYWAY, you just got me at a weak moment. Matt was being an asshole to me."

                "Which is why I got you the flowers." He reminded, a smirk growing. She sighed, rolling her eyes.

                "Fine. He knows how to slightly woo a girl, but obviously he's a bit rusty considering what happened last night, alright?"

                There was no argument there, as Chris just shrugged. She obviously had a point. "…I'm not going to bother her anymore." Benoit spoke, shaking his head. "I appreciate the help but…"

                "Nope, Chris, not a good answer. You may be able to kill me but I still have my ways of forcing you to go." Lita beamed. "'Coz, you know, Chris here IS my buddy…"

                Benoit eyed Jericho as he gave a wide grin. "…So what, blackmail?"

                "Aren't we nice friends?" Jericho nodded.

                "You can't have that bad of stuff on me."

                "Hey Lita, you know, when he was 10…"

                "JERICHO!" he instantly spoke, turning red. Jericho smiled evilly.

                "You were saying?" Chris asked innocently.

                Benoit looked from Lita to Jericho, who now both held the same smirking grin, and after a second's pause he finally hesitantly nodded.

                "…You guys suck." Benoit groaned. "This is the last thing I'm trying though, you got it? No more."

                "Good. We're going shopping, then."

                "S-shopping? You mean, in a place…with people in it?"

                "Usually that's the case. We're going to pick out a necklace."

                "But what if someone SEES me?" he inquired, nervously. "I have a reputation to uphold…"

                "Say you're buying a necklace for uh…Chris!"

                Both men looked at her with a disgusted look.

                "Chris?" Benoit made a face.

                "I'm kidding." Lita laughed. "Seriously, Chris, you need to buy yourself a sense of humor."

                "I killed that side when I was a child." He said dully.

                "Bullshit. This dumbass is actually one of the funniest guys I met. He's just shy." Jericho teased. Benoit just glared at him and huffed.

                "Either way…get ready…because I know a great place to find stuff…"

                Benoit looked at the two and knew he yet again had absolutely no way out of it.

~~

                "Come ON."

                He refused to make it easy on her. He just acted like a 5 year old on the brink of having a tantrum. She knew what he was trying to pull, and wasn't phased by it at all. She got him inside, more or less dragging him by the sleeve. Inside it was actually busy already, mostly because they were standing in a local mall. Even in the early hours people were shopping and no one gave them a second glance. Benoit looked around with disdain – the last time he had gone shopping with a female he ended up being stuck in there for hours. However, really, the longest time he was ever shopping ended up being with Chris.

                Such a fact scared him to no end. Either way, she motioned him to follow and he did, dutifully. He just figured that perhaps if he just went along acting all happy and chipper that he was being forced to possibly piss Lilian off again and lower his chances even more to get her to like him. He fell in step with her, shoving his hands into his pocket to show at least a little bad temper. Lita noted this and instead of taking it as an insult because he wasn't very excited to be shopping with him, she actually smiled and shook her head.

                "You're funny, you know." She mused. The Crippler looked toward her, raising a brow slowly.

                "What do you mean?" he inquired.

                "Just how you act sometimes." She explained, glancing about, obviously looking for something. "Always trying to keep your tough front up. You know, honestly…I never understood why Jericho started hanging out with you in the beginning. But I think I see why now."

                "Oh really?" he asked, dodging a person who almost smashed a load of bags into him.

                "Yeah." She nodded, looking thoughtful. "You're a good guy. That's why I'm helping you with this. That's why Jericho is, as stupid as he may be."

                "Mm." Was all he replied, looking down. She glanced over to him. Instantly a smile formed on her face.

                "Are you _blushing_?" she asked, incredulous. 

                "No!" he answered sharply. Lita couldn't help but laugh.

                "Okay, okay, I'll leave you alone." She conceded. "…Ah, here we go."

                Benoit glanced up. The sign outside the store stated it to be 'The Jewelry Outlet'. It was a small shop compared to the others in the mall, but just outside Benoit could see the gleam of gems and precious stones that were inside. They walked in, a light ring from a bell on the door sounding. Lita pulled him to the nearest container, peering it like a little kid looking at candy. He would never understand why girls seemed to like the stuff so much. While he was watching her peer at the stuff like an expert, he didn't even notice the worker there stepping to them.

                "Can I help you?" he asked. Lita leaned up and looked at him with a smile.

                "We're looking for a necklace." She explained. "A nice one."

                "Hm. I see. Well, I assure you, miss, our gems are of the best quality!" He glanced toward Chris. "I suppose you are this lovely lady's boyfriend?"

                "N—"

                "Of –course- he is." She smiled brightly. "We're getting married."

                Benoit's mouth dropped in shock.

                "AREN'T we honey?"

                Benoit blinked. "Y-yes?"

                "I realize that this offer you've been giving this week is for rings, but our…religion…uses necklaces instead of rings. You see our problem, of course."

                The man raised a brow. "Oh really?"

                "Yes." She nodded in confirmation. "It's a new religion, see. The necklace is supposed to bind the soul to it, and then we trade to give our souls to each other."

                Benoit just stood there, trying to nod in agreement even though inwardly he was groaning.

                "I'm sorry miss but…"

                "Excuse me, SIR, but if you're going to say what I THINK you're going to say, you're in for a rude awakening. That's religious persecution, and that's against the law!" she pointed out. "It said in your ad that you get discounts for the rings, and the necklace –is- our ring."

                "Excuse ME, miss. But unless you have proof you're getting married I suggest you leave or I'll call security." The man was by then extremely agitated, for obvious reasons.

                "Why don't we go, _sweetie_." Benoit forced, motioning to the door.

                "No! No! How dare he deny us our freedoms! How---mfggh." She was cut off when Chris quickly threw his hand over her mouth and started dragging her out.

                "I'm sorry for the disturbance sir, my fiancée here has a couple problems." He called to the man as he pushed the door to open. When they were at a safe distance, Benoit released her. She turned, putting her hands on her hips.

                "I almost HAD him!"

                "Since when did today's plan include fraud?" Benoit questioned loudly. "What the hell were you doing?"

                "Getting a five percent discount!" she smiled proudly.

                He stared at her. "FIVE PERCENT?! ALL THAT FOR…" He stopped himself, taking a breath, silently counting back from ten to calm himself.

                "You men don't understand the importance of percents." She said matter-of-factly.

                "Well I also understand that stuff like that gets us thrown in jail." He replied with an even tone. She shrugged.

                "Details. Hey, there's another store a little farther down. Let's go!"

                Before he could squeak out a protest, she was off jogging. He stared after her for a moment, then sighed loudly and followed. If she was going to keep at it, he would have to watch her so he wasn't blamed for getting her arrested somehow.

~~

                "She's in there." Jeff pointed mildly. "Er…what are you guys doing anyway?"

                Benoit fumbled with the box that was securely in his spring jacket. "None of your business, Hardy." He mumbled. Jeff raised a brow, pushing a couple stray locks of green hair from his eyes.

                "Touché." He smirked. "Well, I'm off the hook. Later."

                With a wave, the man slinked away, pulling his hat that was hanging off his jeans as he went. By the time he was out of sight, his hat ended up securely fashioned to his head. He turned his attention to the door. He took a deep breath, then three more. It was pathetic his heart already had jumped to a pounding pulse. Stepping to the door, he knocked once.

_                Remember; smile._

                Lita's advice rang in his ears.

                _….Just give it to her straight out, say it's for an apology or something._

He pulled it out as the door opened, and he closed his eyes, refusing to look at her.

                "This is for you."

                A pause. No answer. Did he do something wrong? Was she staring at him in horror? Finally, a voice came out.

                And it wasn't Lilian's. "…Uh…wow, that's nice of you…Benoit…"

                His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring at Spike Dudley who looked –really- perplexed at the moment. If Benoit had a gun at that moment, he would have killed himself right then.

                "Hey, you're not Lilian." He blurted out, gaining another look.

                "Uh…that's right. I'm not." Spike responded, scratching his head. "…She's down the hall."

                "Spike, who is it?" a voice inside called. He knew it was Molly, who else would it be?

                "…Oh, it's just Benoit. He thought I was Lilian."

                Her head popped into view as she looked at Benoit with a bright smile. "Hi, Chris!"

                Benoit tried not to stop turning as red as he felt he was becoming. He was going to either kill himself or kill the Hardy brother by the time the night was through, especially if it kept going the way it was going. 

                "Hello Molly." He said glumly. Molly tilted her head, looking at the box.

                "Ooo. Is that for Lilian?" She asked, giggling.

                "Uh, no…?"

                "You don't have to be shy, Chris! Let me see." Before he could say anything, she swiped it and opened it up, peering at the piece of jewelry. "Wow! Look at this, Spike!"

                Spike went over, looking at it too. Chris just kept reminding himself they didn't mean to embarrass him as much as they were.

                "She's gonna love this, Chris." Molly gushed. "I can't believe you like her. That's so cute!"

                "Oh yeah. Cute." He mumbled. "Anyway, can I have it back so I can give it to her or something…?"

                "Oh, sure!" She walked over, placing it in his hand. "Don't get nervous now. Golly, I know I'd be!"

                "All he has to do is be himself." Spike reminded. "Because, well, er…that's how it goes, right?"

                "Yep." She agreed. "G'luck, Chris!"

                He made a little wave before quickly walking off, trying to pretend that didn't happen. "Be myself?" he muttered to himself. "Heh, I have more of a chance getting advice from others if you ask me."

                Down the hall. He went that way, and actually stopped short because as he saw she was leaving the room. He felt his feet freeze to the ground, a lump forming in his throat. Apparently his nerves only stayed with him for so long and somewhere between the beginning of talking to Spike to that moment, they left him. But he refused to let himself remain that way as he literally forced himself forward. She noticed him first and her eyes instantly narrowed.

                "What do YOU want?" she demanded, her voice edged with anger.

                "L-Lilian...I just wanted to…apologize." He blurted out. "See? I got this for you."

                She eyed him suspiciously, but took it. "What's this?" She opened it, peering at the trinket.

                "I thought you might…"

                "What are you trying to do, BUY me off?" she fumed. He looked startled. "I don't know why you keep bothering me, Chris, but it's really not funny anymore."

                "But wait…Lilian…"

                She shoved the box into his hands and stomped off, leaving Benoit with his mouth hanging open. After a moment, he finally recovered from the shock and lowered his head, shaking it sadly.

                Yet again he had just unintentionally pissed her off. Maybe now he could just give up with the charade. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

A/N: Here ya go. Enjoy.

                Benoit trudged to Lita's room. When Matt opened the door he gently shoved the cobalt-colored hair male aside, moving past him without a word. Matt just sort of blinked, kind of confused. Lita was relaxing on one bed, her eyes glued to the set. Jeff was on the opposite bed. His hair was drenched and his hands and the parts of his neck his hair touched were discolored electric blue. Around his shoulders was a towel, which also had the same fate. Benoit instantly figured the younger Hardy brother must have just dyed his hair again. He tossed the box onto her bed and it landed neatly on her outstretched legs. She jumped, a bit surprised, and then looked at the box for a moment before it dawned on her. She looked toward him and his indifferent yet obviously sullen appearance and instantly frowned.

                "Chris…?"

                "Well, I figured you'd want to bring it back since she didn't take it." He said. "Later."

                Turning on his heels, he started to move away, out of the room. His escape did not work however when she caught his arm. He turned and raised a brow toward her.

                "Wait, Chris. What happened?"

                He looked past her to see the two Hardy brothers staring at him. Noting his obvious discomfort talking about the subject with anyone but her, she shook her head.

                "C'mon. I'll treat you to a coffee." She said real soft to him. He seemed mostly thankful.

                She turned and walked into the room, slipping on her shoes.

                "Where you goin', Red…?" Jeff asked, curiously.

                "Just out for a bit. I'll be back." She kissed Matt's cheek quick and he didn't make any objection of her just up and leaving out of the blue.

                "You don't have to…" Benoit trailed off. "I was just bringing it back…"

                "I would just let you go but I know you're not going to have anyone else to rant off too. The day you tell Chris your feelings is the day the world will end." She spoke when she closed the door behind her with a 'click'.

                "And how do you know I'm going to tell you anything?" he asked with his infamous smirk.

                "You're coming with me, aren't you?" she pointed out with a shrug. He couldn't disagree with this.

                The rest of the walk downstairs to the cheap little coffee café place in their hotel was basically in silence. Benoit couldn't believe he was still humoring Lita. He should have just told her to go so he could go to his own room and end his disgraceful attempts of getting Lilian to like him. But he didn't. He ordered coffee with the redhead he barely knew and sat in a remote table in the small area. She stared at him as he took an extra interest in stirring his hot drink. But she waited, very patiently, because if anything she learned about Benoit through her encounters with him with the other Chris was that he couldn't be rushed into anything.

                "I should have known it was going to go bad when I accidentally gave the necklace to Spike Dudley."

                "…You thought Spike was Lilian?" she asked, sounding surprised. "…But…she looks nothing like him. And she wears nothing but dresses…okay, sometimes pants, but not THOSE pants."

                "I didn't do it on PURPOSE."  He groaned, instantly embarrassed. "I knocked on the wrong door because your rainbow headed buddy sent me there. I had my eyes closed when I offered it."

                "Oh. Okay then." Lita said. She seemed to stifle a giggle that almost came out. He scowled a bit. "Okay, sorry. Sorry."

                "And then – after getting gawked at by Dudley and his little girl pal, I went to go find her in the right room – and she came out, looked at the gift and accused me of trying to pay her off or something."

                "Ouch."

                "I don't really care. I knew it would end up like this. I told you she would never go for me. I scare the crap out of her. I don't actually blame her…" He sighed. "Whatever. Seriously."

                Lita looked at him. He really was struggling to fight any sort of feeling of disappointment. Tried to pretend that he didn't want it to turn out right in the end. She didn't know what to do except go right up to Lilian and tell her. And she probably wouldn't believe her either. He couldn't give up on this, though. She just didn't know why he was doing the things he was doing. He never did come out and say it. He just sighed into his coffee, the steam flying up back at him. He barely winced.

                "So that's it? You're just going to roll over and die?"

                "I prefer to call it my attempt to make it so she only dislikes me instead of hating me with a burning passion."

                "At least it's still passion." She offered. He gave her a look. "Guess that's not much of a consolation…"

                "I'm out of here." He stood up. "…Here's some money for the coffee…"

                She shook her head. "On me."

                He ignored her, tossing a five-dollar bill onto the table. "I insist."

                Turning curtly, he walked away. Lita stared after him, raising a brow. "There has to be a way to help him…"

                Suddenly her eyes lit up. She had an idea.

~~

                "You haven't spoken to me since last night."

                Benoit just kept writing in his thick black notebook. He hadn't moved much from the bed since they got their new room in the new hotel room. He just laid there, half propped up, looking busy. Jericho sighed loudly, annoyed fully. He got up and grabbed the book from his partner's book. Benoit didn't stop him. He opened it, peering inside.

                "1,001 ways to kill Chris Jericho." He read out loud. "Oh, how ni…wait a second!" He read it over, then looked at Benoit who was just smirking at him. "What the hell is this about?"

                "Just using my creative abilities." He spoke innocently, his eyes narrowed on the blonde.

                He flipped through pages. "You even drew pictures?" He tilted his head at one of them. "I don't even think the human neck can BEND that way!"

                "It can. Trust me."

                "You can't possibly have 1,001 ways…" he flipped to the last number he was on. "…985?!"

                "I have another book if you wanna see it." He added mildly.

                "I think you owe me an explanation." Jericho replied quickly. Benoit gave him a look.

                "For what?"

                "My hair is NOT that raggy! You make me look like a transvestite in your pictures!" Jericho pouted. "…Oh yeah, and why you're planning on killing me in many, many ways. That too."

                "I draw what I see, and you deserve it." He answered with a shrug.

                "You draw what you…argh, nevermind." He tossed the book to him. "What did I do this time? I swear I didn't throw your boxers out the window at an old lady this morning, that was someone else!"

                Benoit stared at him. "What old lady?"

                "…Nothing!" Jericho quickly covered, realizing that wasn't the reason.

                "YOU were the one who has made the last two days of my life make me want to go commit suicide." He accused.

                "Suicide, huh? I think Number 100 in your list might do the job." Jericho offered.

                "NOT funny Christopher Jericho!" He grumbled, standing up.

                Jericho winced. If the moments when his mother used his full name was any indication, Benoit was really mad. "…Sorry."

                "Lilian hates me now. At least before it was mild fear." Benoit told him with a groan. "I give up, seriously. This is the last time I take your advice."

                "But…"

                "I don't know why I put up with your shit sometimes."

                "I didn't…"

                "You mess up everything!"

                Jericho opened his mouth to speak, but only a low squeak of an unintelligible word.

                "I just can't deal with you anymore."

                "Well, fine." Jericho said in a light huff. "I see when I'm not wanted. Fuck man, you're such an ass, Roboto. I'm out of here."

                And Benoit watched him retreat from the room. It took him a couple seconds for what just happened to be really absorbed. When it did, he realized he had just completely snapped without meaning to go so far. "Fuck."

                He had lost any chances with Lilian, AND he just made it so he didn't have a best friend. He was highly contemplating looking at number 100. With a sigh, he threw on a shirt and his pair of sneakers and followed Jericho out. He had to find him before he went and asked for their tag team to be broken up or something.

                Not that he had any idea where to start. He looked around to see if Jericho was in sight, and when he wasn't he picked a random direction and jogged that way. He passed by some random people, all who looked at him oddly as he passed. After looking for 20 minutes, he decided to ask Lita for advice. She knew Jericho better then anyone in the company. He felt bad for bugging her so much, but he knew this was one of those rare moments of absolute necessity to bug her.

                How she answered the door made Benoit instantly flush and look away. "I told you MATT, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO – Oh my god!"

                She pulled the shirt she was holding on. She had been wearing a work-out bra before, and answered with just that on, obviously thinking it was just Matt or something. Benoit cleared his throat, trying to stop blushing like crazy.

                "I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to…"

                Lita shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Sorry for yelling, Matt pissed me off." She instantly gave one of her patent smiles. "What's up?"

                "I uh…I…" he snapped out of it, finally allowing himself to look at her now that she had covered herself up. "Are you busy?"

                "No. Asshole left to go play with his buddies and left me hanging."

                "I'm sorry." Benoit apologized.

                "What, did you force him to go dumb ass on me?" she joked. She noticed his forlorn look a moment later, mixed in with his embarrassed red color. "…Oh, Chris, what's up? You don't look very good."

                "I can't find Jericho."

                "Isn't that usually a good thing?"

                "Not this time." Benoit replied, gravely. "See, I accidentally kind of…told Jericho that he was sort of…worthless, and that I couldn't deal with him anymore and…"

                "How do you ACCIDENTLY tell someone that?" Lita asked, sounding shocked.

                "I was just mad. And Jericho was there and I…"

                "Totally beat him up mentally as if he wasn't the only one who gave you a chance? Chris! How could you!"

                "I know I was wrong. That's why I need to find him."

                She paused. "Really? Does that mean you're going to apologize?"

                "…I guess so."

                "Wow, Chris really has been a positive influence on you." She giggled. "Last year you'd never admit you were wrong."

                "Instead of musing, can you please help me find him?" he asked, impatient.

                "Well, did he take his stuff?"

                "…No."

                "Then he's probably in your room right now." Lita shrugged.

                Benoit could have hit himself. Why hadn't he thought of that? "I'll try that. Right. Thanks, Lita!"

                "Wait Benoit, I have something to…"

                "Save that thought." He called back, already jogging back to the room.

                And sure enough, Jericho was collecting his stuff in his room. He stopped when Benoit opened the door and walked in. He stared at him, his chin up defiantly. "…I'll be out of here in a second."

                "Wait, wait, stop." Benoit said, waving a hand. Jericho stuffed a shirt into the bag, then looked at Chris.

                "Why? You want to chew me out some more?"

                "Jericho…"

                He threw his bag down, stomping right up to him, inches away in a couple of seconds. "And let me tell you something, Chris, I know we've had our fights before, but even I wouldn't go as low as where you went."

                Benoit knew he was right and said nothing.

                "I thought we were friends, man. But I guess everyone was right about you. People told me to stay away from you, but I felt sorry for you." He shook his head in disgust. "So don't even bother, Benoit. I don't care."

                "I'm sorry."

                Jericho stopped mid-step.

                "…You're absolutely right, Chris. I don't blame you if you leave now."

                Jericho turned to stare at him. "Wait wait, you're actually saying I'M right?"

                Benoit conveyed no emotion. "I'm an ass and I know it. I don't really know how to deal with people."

                "So I'm right?"

                "Yes."

                "…Me? Chris Jericho?"

                "Yes."

                "Can I get this written on paper?"

                "I don't really deserve anyone being nice to me, but you were. I understand that. I just snapped at you because I had a fucked up week and you were the closest target…and that was wrong. So…as hard as it is to admit, I was wrong. That's…all I can say. You can go if you want still."

                Jericho blinked, almost seeming a little surprised at his honest speech. After a moment, he suddenly gave one of his big grins and pulled him into a headlock, messing up his hair while still being careful around the areas that still seemed red from the vase. Benoit let out a grumble of frustration as he tried to get Chris off him. "Aww, Benoit, didn't know you cared!"

                "Mffph." He replied, annoyed. He managed to rid himself of the grip and tried to make his hair at least somewhat neat.

                "Oh, by the way, when I was contemplating my dramatic exit, Lita told me to give you this." He produced a letter. "Said something about Lilian. You're lucky I'm so forgiving."

                Benoit sighed. At least one problem was solved. He slowly opened the letter, curious to see the contents of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: **Now that I'm back in the groove of writing, I got this chapter finished too. Yay!****

                "Dear Chris." Benoit read out loud. Jericho stood, crossing his arms over his chest, raising a brow as he was read the note. "I realize that you're going to kill me the minute you read this, but with a couple pulled strings, you've got yourself a…" he paused, his eyes getting big.

                "What did you get? A new car? A new tooth?"

                He ignored the comment, just because he felt like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. "She got Lilian to agree to eat dinner with me."

                "Woah! Alright, Lita!" Jericho grinned. "Knew that girl would make it through…I tell you, Chris, she's always..."

                And then Benoit collapsed. Upon inspection, Jericho found he had fainted. He sighed, shaking his head. "Whatta pussy."

                He nudged him with the tip of his shoe. He didn't respond. Leaving his best friend's downed body for a moment, he filled water into one of the complimentary cups given to them by the hotel. He returned to him and poured the water on his head. Instantly his face cringed and he shot up, coughing and sputtering. The floor around his head was saturated.

"Wha...what happened?" he asked, touching his head after he realized how freezing he felt. 

                "You fainted when you found out you get an evening to woo Lilian." Jericho laughed. Benoit seemed horrified once again. He stood up quickly.

                "I can't do that." He said loudly. "That…that'd mean I'd be alone with her!"

                "Well, usually dates are like that." Jericho replied mildly.

                "I wouldn't know what to say. Instead of 5 seconds of humiliation, it'll be an hour or MORE of it!"

                "Oh, you're worrying too much. I'm sure she'll be charmed by you're uh...rugged charm and...wit?" Jericho offered.

                "Are you kidding me? If you were a girl, would -I- be on the top of your list as number one choice of date?"

                Jericho seemed to contemplate this. "Naw. You're not my type."

                Benoit glared at him. "I hate you."

                "What! I like blondes!" he laughed. He stopped when the glare intensified. "…Fine, fine." He got close and pinched Benoit's cheek jokingly. "'Course I'd pick you. Youse so cute, Chrissy."

                Benoit swatted his hand away, huffing. "I take it back. You're still an ass."

                "Now that's not any way to treat someone who's gonna teach you how to be appealing to someone like Lilian."

                "Show me the person and I'll thank 'em." He replied dryly.

                "I'LL help you."

                "Yes, because you have such a great way of wooing girls. 'You're a slut! You're a bitch! I hate you so much that I'll kiss you in front of millions!'."

                "If you're referring to Stephanie..."

                "Okay, not even HER. How about Lita, huh? Now that's painfully obvious, yet all you do is tease her and she is clueless."

                "I don't like Lita." He shook his head, stubbornly.

                "Riight." He rolled his eyes. "Your flirting style is that of a six year old. And you only have teased two people in more jest then anything - Stephanie and Lita. Lita more, too. So can you really look at me and tell me that if she wasn't dating Matt you wouldn't have made your move? Can you?"

                "I am not the subject of conversation!" he instantly changed the subject.

                "Pfft." Benoit rolled his eyes. 

                "Okay, so maybe I'm not the best to talk to. But I know just a person that might help!"

                "Other? Wait a second Chris..."

                "Trust me, Chris. This guy has dated every type. Probably in the past year. Multiple times. If he can't help you, no one can."

                He shouldn't have been surprised that when the door opened that Jericho had dragged him to was Edge's room.

                "Hey guys...uh...what a surprise. What's up?"

                "Edge, I need you to mold my friend here into someone who looks like a pro at dating."

                Edge stared at them both for a second, his eyebrow raised slightly. "Um...I'm not a miracle worker."

                Jericho snickered as Benoit groaned.

                Edge instantly cracked one of his infamous huge grins. "I'm just kidding you, buddy. Come on in, both of you. You caught me on a good day. Nothing to do." He moved aside to allow them both entrance.

                Inside it certainly looked like a bachelor pad. Various articles of clothing were thrown around as if the whole room was a clothing holder. Benoit hoped some of the stuff was Christian's, because it just wasn't natural for a guy to have so many. Both Jericho and he decided to just stand instead of attempt to clear an area to sit.

                "Sorry for the mess." He spoke, basically reading the duo's minds. "Gets kinda dirty in here when neither of us feel like cleaning. So! You need help, huh? What exactly would you like me to do?"

                "Teach him how to not scare the crap out of his date." Jericho spoke, eliciting another glare from his friend.

                "Well, smiles are usually a good step in the right direction. Smile."

                "But I don't..."

                "Just smile, Roboto." Jericho rolled his eyes. Benoit gave a heavy sigh and made one.

                "Dude, let's uh...skip that part." Edge coughed, making a face.

                "Wow, I think he's even scarier smiling!" Jericho mused, tilting his head to the side, looking toward the now scowling man.

                Benoit, for lack of a better phrase, already was fed up with this little lesson. "I'm leaving..."

                He was promptly pushed back onto the bed. Benoit groaned, figuring the only way out was to either kill them or sit through this embarrassment. 

                Benoit, for lack of a better phrase, already was fed up with this little lesson. "I'm leaving..."

                He was promptly pushed back onto the bed. Benoit groaned, figuring the only way out was to either kill them or sit through this embarrassment. So he figured – he'd just half listen and maybe it would end soon. Very soon. The sooner the better.

                "We need to get him clothes."

                "Dress clothes, you mean?"

                "Yeah." Edge looked him over. "I highly doubt you have anything worthwhile in your closet, right?"

                "I have a suit..."

                "That's 10 years old..." Jericho reminded.

                "I LIKE my suit!"

                "Well, MY stuff ain't gonna fit him." Edge shook his head. "He's too short."

                "Now wait just a second! I'm not sh..." Benoit was just trying to get SOME part of his bruised ego back.

                "Yeah, and my stuff is at the cleaners...it'll be big on him too, but not as big as yours would."

                "Damn! Looks like we're gonna have to ask around."

                Ask around. Which meant he would have to ask more people. Which meant they would ask him why he would need such a thing. Which meant..."I am NOT telling ANYONE else about this."

                "It'll only be a few people, REALLY." Edge smiled apologetically.

                "I seem to remember a time when you told me only you and Lita would know about this!" he pointed accusingly to the shorter blonde Canadian. "And now I have to go asking around for a suit like some kind of peddler? No way, forget it!"

                An hour later, he was striding slowly behind the two, head lowered mournfully as if he was being taken away to jail or some other not very nice place. They were in a second rate suit shop – not for the incredibly rich, but it was still on the pricey side. And he had for some strange reason agreed to pay half of it if the insane idea worked. But he was letting them drag him around, so he knew inside that he wasn't THAT against it. The store was sort of new looking, with suits lining every single wall. There were a million colors of each type. Some were hideous – pastel pink and yellow colors the worse – while others were quite normal – greys and blacks.

                There was a couple suits that reminded Benoit of Godfather's festive outfits. "Maybe I should go for the pimp look." Benoit mused outloud, gaining stares from the other two Canadians. "…What? I either laugh about this shit or I shoot myself. I don't have a gun to do the latter."

                "You're too pessimistic Chris." Edge spoke cheerfully. "Just think, soon you'll be all alone with your lil' sweetheart."

                "Yes, and this is the same 'lil' sweetheart' I gave hives to and is also the one that looks as though I tried to buy her off with a necklace." Benoit smirked.

                "If you dwell in the past, Roboto…"

                "The PAST? It wasn't even a week ago!"                

                "Details." He waved a hand. "Anyhow, let's find a suit for you."

                "Good afternoon, gentlemen."  A voice from behind greeted. They all glanced at the older looking man behind them. "Can I help you?"

                "We need a suit." Chris said cheerfully.

                "Stating the obvious, don't you think?" Benoit smirked.

                "Shush." Edge chastised, nodding in agreement with Chris. "Yes, we need a suit for this man over here."

                The man looked over at Benoit, who squirmed slightly.  The man 'hmm'ed, and he inwardly groaned.

                "Come, we will find something in your price range."

                Chris grabbed his arm and dragged him along. The man eyed him and started showing outfit by outfit. They were all pretty cheesy looking, perhaps because Benoit thought anything that resembled a suit was ugly. The last one came and he found exactly what he was looking for.

                "This one." He said, gesturing toward it.

                "…It's just black." Jericho spoke, confused.

                "Popular belief has me as someone who wishes not to draw attention. I can't disappoint the belief." Benoit spoke smugly. Edge and Chris looked at each other then collectively sighed.

                "We'll have this one." Edge told the one selling the product.

                "Very good, sir."

                "I don't believe I'm trusting this in the hands of these blonde imbeciles." He muttered.

                "Heard that!" Edge spoke cheerfully as he passed by to follow Chris and the worker of the store. "Come on Benoit, now me and Chris will get your hair ready!"

                A second's pause was all it took for Benoit to comprehend what he was just told. "W-wait! What do you mean my hair?!"

~~

                Edge was partially lying, which was good news on Benoit's part. His hair was played around with. Luckily Lita was the one doing it, not either of them. He was sure if it had been up to them he would probably be forced to wear a wig by the time they were done. Lita had managed to get both of them out of the room, making up an excuse though really it was just so Benoit could have a moment's peace.

                "It's not going to be hard to do this." She spoke, leaning down to be eyelevel with the sitting 'Rabid Wolverine'. She tilted her head to one side, her hair rolling down past her shoulders. "You feeling okay?"

                "I guess so." He said with a small shrug. Lita sat next to him and grinned.

                "You're scared shitless, aren't you?"

                "Definitely." He admitted. "I'm quite sure I'm going to screw this up."

                "You'll be fine." She comforted.

                "That's easy for you to say. You've got a beautiful look to go with your personality. Me?"

                Lita looked over at him, raising a brow. "…You?"

                "I think it hardly needs to be said." He stood up, holding his arms out slightly, trying to show her his point. "I mean, look at me."

                "I've been looking at you, Chris. There's nothing wrong with you." She stood up.

                "Do you need glasses? I'm no prince charming – I sure as hell am not good looking. You're just saying that because you know me." He turned from her, sighing in defeat.

                "Woah woah woah, since when did you come to the conclusion you aren't good looking?" Lita frowned.

                "What does it matter? Pah…whatever…just forget this."

                "Ahh, no you don't." she turned him around, forcing him to face her. He seemed a bit surprised at the suddenness of the action. "There's nothing wrong with you, and you're definitely not ugly. I say that both as a friend and as a girl."

                "Right." He rolled his eyes.

                "Really! I mean it…you're quite handsome, actually. One of the kindest people I ever met. Most polite, too. Especially now when you don't have the angry façade to hide your real personality." She smiled. "Funny, maybe even funnier then Chris when it comes down to it – only in a more quiet way. You're a catch, Benoit. Lilian is lucky to have the aspect of such a great guy."

                "Lita…"

                "Yeah?"

                And, in one of the biggest showing of affection he ever had, he pulled her into a hug that definitely shocked her. When the realization struck of what he was doing, she felt a small smile appear on her face and hugged him back. He let go as quickly as he started it, probably realizing what he had doing, and instantly turned red. Lita just chuckled, which probably didn't help but it was too cute of a moment for her not to appreciate.

                "S-sorry, I didn't mean to…"

                "I love ya too, Chris." She giggled. He blushed deeper. "Now, come on, let's figure out how you're going to wear your hair tonight, hmm?"


End file.
